Today started out great, but turned a little sour towards the middle.

The day started off with me attending church, like my usual Sunday routine. Youth was purely Prayer and Praise. No sermons today. But the P&P was really great. We sang lotsa songs, including all-time-favourites like Heart of Worship and My Redeemer Lives. Some modern songs were sung too, like those by the Planetshakers, and those sung at the SonicFest. Haven't had such a wonderful worship in a long time. We were however, reminded that worship isn't about singing. It's about praising God, and we shoudn't merely sing the song, but rather, sing the words. It's all in the meaning of the song, the intentions. God's presence was definitely felt.

After the Youth Worship, i attended the DCG lessons. Today's topic was kinda interesting, discussing about lust and pornography. Learning about how we are affected by such temptations, and the method of dealing with them the biblical way, is extremely beneficial and useful. We discussed about how lust can lead to sin. Somehow, we got to the topic of girls. Then molestation. Basically, we all agreed on one thing. To girls, their modesty is extremely important. To them, it means their purity, determine's their character. To take tarnish a gal's modesty is as good as killing her. I guess it's pretty true, as guys have their pride, I dun see why girls cannot have modesty. Lust, can spur us to take that one action of molestation, to ruin a girl's life. She may even develop a phobia of guys after that. I never really gave much thought about this before. Well, I'm determined to protect my darling. Hahaz. One thing gals can do to help guys, is to wear more decent clothes? I mean, just look at the society today. Girls are wearing uber short skirts, that are superflous once the wind blows. Naturally, this will put thoughts in our heads. Hahaz.

Whilst walking towards the KFC in Lot 1, i saw Shawn, his mother, and his sister. They were there for some sort of photoshoot apparently sponsored by Citibella thanks to some unknown promotion. Samantha (or Sam for short) was posing for her picture when i walked past. She is really photogenic. Her smile is natural and she poses with ease. Usually, I see her in casual wear. But this time, she had herself all dolled up, with make-up, styled hair and the likes. She looked really.. Chio? Hahaz. After stopping for a moment to chat with Shawn, I bought my lunch (a Zinger meal), and headed home.

Now this is where my day turns bad.

Upon my arrival, I went straight to my room to consume my lunch. After chasing my sis out, I began to eat. I suppose my sis had been trying to Maple before that, as after she got chased out, she complained to my father about being unable to play properly in Maple. Apparently she did not set the key settings. Thus, was only able to move left and right. So she complained to my father. I kinda hate it when my sis complains to my parents. She sorts of uses my parents as a shield, as she knows that I have no authority over them. She complains over every little thing. Spoilt.

Anyway, my father also did not know what to do. Obviously, as he doesn't even play computer games. So, he seeks my help. Now, at this point of time, I was enjoying my lunch, and chatting with some friends online. Then my father barges in, without knocking (I really hate that), and tells me to help my sis. Note that I used help. He said something like, "Can you see what's the problem and help your sister?" As I was still eating, I nooded my head, and told him I'd do it later, after my lunch. He then told me to stop my lunch first, and help my sis. Rather ridiculous if u ask me. I mean, I'm having lunch for heaven's sake. And why can't I do it later when I have both hands free? So I asked him, "Can I finish my lunch first? I'll help her after my lunch." Then he gets totally unreasonable, and demands that I stop my lunch and teach my sis how to configure the key settings. Note that throughout the whole conversation, he did not use a single 'Please" or 'Thank you'. Not only that, he raised his voice each time he spoke.

I would have gladly helped my sis if he stopped at his first sentence. But he practically commanded me to do it now. Who will demand help and expect to recieve it? 'Please' and 'Thank You' arn't extinct you know? They are actual words! So you need help. Fine, I'll render you my aid. Even if you didn't say please. But there is absolutely no need to demand it now right? It's not as if it's urgent or anything.

Well, i got totally pissed off and told him to wait, in a nonchalent tone. And for no reason, he threatens to dismantle the com if I don't teach her now. That really hit the limit. I told him about the please and thank you, and told him that to teach or not is my choice. I can choose not to teach her. If he wanted my help, he could at least use 'Please'. I also reminded him that it is him who neede my help, and that my room is not an army camp.

I have been pretty patient with him, and tried my best not to talk back. In fact, it was my other sis, the older one, who always quarrels with him, and talks back. Yet, he says that i have become rebellios recently, when the only time I retaliated was today. That really got on my nerves. So he just said, 'Ok, can you please teach your sister?', in a very impatient and commanding tone, which didn't convince me at all that his 'please' was sincere. But to prevent myself from exploding, I cut the conversation short and just agreed.

After that, I felt really alone, and upset. At least, my girlfriend was online to comfort me. I asked if I love her. She said yes, then i asked her why does she think so. Her reply was, "becoz u
respect me, listen to me, stay beside me, comfort me, encourage me... and kiss me!". How true. One can show love through such means. But my father does not respect me, he only expects me to respect him. He does not listen, but expects to be heard. Not to mention, he isn't beside me most of the time, neither comfort nor encourages me. I really wonder if my house is really my home. I don't feel appreciated at home anymore. Luckily, I still have my girlfriend to brighten up my day.

Dear, I really appreciate all that you've done for me. Thanks for being with my through such times. I love you.

Wow, I really did type alot. I guess I had too much weighing me down on my mind. Feels good to let it all out. Hahaz. I'm really grateful for such a wonderful girlfriend. Hahaz. I would like to end with a song, a song that really impacted my during worship.

I know, he rescued my soul,
His blood has covered my sin,
I believe, I believe.

My shame, He's taken away,
my pain, is healed in His pain,
I believe, I believe.

I'll raise a banner;
My Lord, has conquered the grave!

Chorus:
My Redeemer Lives, My Redeemer Lives;
My Redeemer Lives, My Redeemer Lives.

You lift my burden, I'll rise with You;
I'm dancing on this mountaintop,
to see Your kingdom come.

Chorus:
My Redeemer Lives, My Redeemer Lives;
My Redeemer Lives, My Redeemer Lives.

It really struck me, how Chrisianity is really dependent on Jesus' Ressurection. If he didn't die for us, we would all still be living in sin, our salvations not guaranteed. Praise the Lord for Jesus! Because He lives, we are saved.

Well, I'll end here for now. Cheers all~